While I may seem calm when turbulence happens, I’m running up and down the aisle of my mental fuselage like a terrified renaissance painting figure while screaming OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING DOWN….THE WINGS ARE GONNA FALL OFF. BYE WORLD. 

Is that flight attendant freaking out? Watch her face….if she looks worried it’s time to accept death. I think she looks worried. Shit. This is it. We’re gonna make the news. My body is gonna be shredded.  

Will a last will and testament survive on this Southwest napkin?

I sat in the worst section to survive this crash. Maybe if I jump before we hit land, I’ll live. 

I’ve been traveling by plane since I was 5 years old and fly often for work and personal reasons, yet there’s something about turbulence that jacks with my instincts. 

I know, thanks to the logical side of my brain, turbulence isn’t dangerous at all. But still, something deep down in my consciousness surfaces with silent terror. 

So how do I live through it? 

Just thinking about turbulence, you say, could make me more nervous, but I like to put on some mental armor before I find my seat. 

Before I fly, usually as I’m waiting in line to board, I read on my phone about how much turbulence planes can handle. 

Turns out it’s a shit ton and planes never really go down or are damaged because of the shitty shakes. 

This is a really good article by a pilot who also breaks down some comforting numbers. I have it bookmarked: 

About sixty people, two-thirds of them flight attendants, are injured by turbulence annually in the United States. That works out to about twenty passengers. Twenty out of the 800 million or so who fly each year in this country. – askthepilot.com

I also drink. Not a lot, but one to two beers just before and during the flight. This really helps me stay calm and feel good. 

The last long flight I took was from Washington D.C. to Denver. As we passed by a storm, the turbulence didn’t feel bad thankfully to some Fat Tires. 

I also try to get a window seat when possible. Focusing on the ground or at least looking outside decreases the sense of doom. An aisle seat might as well be a coffin in my book. 

And lastly, I know this sounds weird, but sometimes I’ll crank up some Rage Against the Machine or Metallica on my headphones. The aggressive music can put me in a tougher mood. 

(This article is not very metal….I know.)

Aside from turbulence, I really enjoy flying and traveling. 

If you’re someone who came across this post while searching about turbulence, don’t sweat it. 

Relax and take it easy. 
You’ll live. 
(I hope so.)