On Gabriel Trujillo and other lost children.

Gabriel Trujillo, 4, died of alleged child abuse. His grandmother faces charges.

I am not a first responder.

I am not an officer.

I am also not a paramedic.

I am not sure if I could stomach the horrors these honorable folks see up close when children are involved.

My colleagues will tell you the toughest stories to cover are always those involving the death of a child.

We often get close to families who express grief when they lose someone little and young.

We hear their wails of pain and their anger.   We sit in living rooms with them and we listen.

Sometimes they turn to us for answers.

Sometimes they want justice.

Sometimes we are able to give them a voice when there is no justice.

It’s impossible not to feel loss in our own hearts when we leave such interviews or crime scenes.  The most stoic of us can hide it well and bury it deep.

Others quickly brush it off like water and move on to the duty of the deadline so quickly, I can only wonder if they will remember what they saw and heard.

Sometimes I play this role.

But I know my colleagues remember like I remember.

I can’t count how many scenes I’ve rolled up to where a family is grieving near crime tape or where I’ve met a devastated mother or father.

Too many shootings, too many child abuse cases, too many neglect cases, too many drunk driving cases.

When I worked in Albuquerque, I remember driving around town with my wife on the weekends.

An errand to the grocery store would turn into a silent memorial in my head.  I would drive by a park, a neighborhood or a street where a little boy or girl had their last moments.

I would picture the young dead standing there, like ghosts, looking back at me.

I never knew them, but I told thousands of people about their short little life and showed their faces.

There is a small piece of them in me today because I took piece of them and I shared them.

And sadly another child has arrived and is now ingrained in my memory.

His name was Gabriel Trujillo.  He was just 4-years-old.

Today I saw his family weep….hard.

I met them a few hours after they let Gabriel succumb to death at the hospital.  The little guy was on life support for the past three days.

His maternal grandmother told police he fell off a chair, but police believe she beat him severely.

I flinch inside just picturing the crime in my head like a movie.  I can’t help it.

And like many of these horrible stories, the story of Gabriel involves a simple photograph we used to acknowledge him.

There’s nothing like the innocence of a child captured by a camera.   You can’t express it in words.  This is why we show photographs of children.

The public needs to see their little faces and remember they lived in circumstances that could have been changed and prevented.

But for many of us who share their stories, the mental memory is often so much more vivid.

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To report child abuse in Colorado, call 303-866-5932.  Even it makes you feel uncomfortable or awkward to get involved, remember your discomfort is far less than what children like Gabriel may be experiencing now. 

Facebook Fury Over an Accident

When accidents happen live on air, they happen in front of thousands of people who are armed with keyboards and status updates.

Pitchforks and torches have turned into mouse clicks and furious keystrokes.

As a TV news person who does investigative work, I’ve received my share of viewer feedback on my facebook page.

SOME TIMES THESE POSTS ARE IN ALL CAPS WITH NUMEROUS EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111  THE AUTHOR REALLY WANTS ME TO GET THE  POINT OF WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SAY AND TO SHOW ME THEY ARE ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!

What they sound like:

I AM SHOWING EVERYONE ELSE WHO IS READING THIS THAT I AM RIGHT IN SCOLDING YOU PUBLICLY.  AND CALLING YOU NAMES AND THAT I HOPE THIS POST WILL REALLY MAKE YOU FEEL PAIN BECAUSE I FEEL YOU DESERVE SHAME.  I HAVE AN INHERENT NEED TO CRITICIZE BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER AND PLUS I LOOK GOOD INFRONT OF ALL OF THESE OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE READING THIS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t mean to make light of these posts….okay maybe a little because some of them I’ve been seeing lately are absurd.

But on a serious note….

Critical emails and facebook wall-posts come with the territory of working in television news.  It’s part of our jobs of working in the public eye.

We are easy targets and in this day and age, we often become digital dart boards when we end up involved with something that infuriates a segment of the audience.

Rightfully, we should be subject to scrutiny because of our line of work.   After all, we are paid to scrutinize people publicly too.

Before facebook, I remember getting hate mail….in the mail. 

About ten years ago I mispronounced the word realtor by saying real-AH -tor.

Two days later, I received a scathing, anonymous letter in the mail calling me a “bumbling idiot” because of this mispronunciation.   The letter also suggested I go work at a fast food restaurant because of my “low IQ.”

I remember laughing at that letter because it included an application to Taco Bell.   Genius.

Criticism like that can’t be taken seriously because it’s coming from someone who is making some knee-jerk assumptions.

Today viewer criticism is much more voluminous because it’s easier for people communicate.

On my facebook page a few years ago I had numerous Albuquerque firefighters flock to my wall and call me a “hack” and other not- so-glamorous names.

The firefighters were angry about a report I aired that exposed a cozy relationship between their union president and a mayor (the union president got a big city raise thanks to the mayor right after a union endorsement during an election year).

I kept the “hack” and other nasty references up on my facebook page because I believe in freedom of speech and my position as a public figure.

The name calling was seen by all of my friends and family.

One family member of mine was quite hurt and angry about the name calling I received on facebook and begged me to delete it.

I was concerned because the criticism was affecting people who had nothing to do with my reporting.

I couldn’t help but think about Kyle Dyer’s family after reading through her facebook wall.

While it’s comforting to see so much support from her fans, the harsh vitriolic stuff is hard to ignore.

I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t find some of the comments infuriating.

One woman suggested that Kyle Dyer should be “put to sleep” and asked her friends to post the same message on Kyle’s wall.

Other people have resorted to vicious name calling.

Not cool.

Nobody deserves messages like that, especially as they suffer with an injury.

So what’s the point I’m trying to raise with this blog post?

I’m not sure.

Perhaps this post is my way of trying to stand up for Kyle because she is a co-worker of mine and someone who I deeply respect.

I’ve only been here a for a few months at 9News and I can say she is awesome.  She made me feel welcome at this place during my first few days here and I feel sick at the attacks she is receiving.

While I can’t silence the cyberbullies, I do hope this post will give some insight, if anything.

It’s clear people are angry because an innocent dog was just being a dog.

Let’s not forget Kyle is just a human too.

On Covering Tragedies

Donna Royer, a mother of two, was killed by her ex-husband.

The first time I reported on a tragedy, I was in college working for a student newscast.

I remember the story clearly because of the sadness I felt for the father involved.  I also remember it clearly because of the people I worked with in the college newsroom were disgusted with my decision to report on the story.

A father backing out of his driveway didn’t notice his toddler was in the way.  The little boy was killed.

I moved forward with the brief story, believing the tragic case would be a reminder for parents and babysitters.

As I wrote up the news script then, I remember receiving dirty looks and hearing the disgusted whispers of my fellow young reporters in the newsroom.

13 years later, as an uncle to two little girls, when I back out of my driveway, that story cycles through my head even before I jump in the car.

I’d like to hope someone who heard that story way back then still remembers too.

Tragedies in communities are often difficult to approach as reporters, because inevitably there will be backlash against the media when reporters start showing up with big news cameras.

Often people will give reporters like me tongue lashings and dirty looks for intruding.

I don’t blame them.

To some folks, reporters are just there to swoop in with their squads of news trucks to devour sound bites, and then move on without a care to the victims and to the people who are grieving.

We are responsible for our reputation in the field, and to be honest, some reporters out there are not so delicate with their approach to such stories.

I’m already surrounded by a cloud of distrust when I move onto a scene because of this perception.

And so was the case today involving the terrible story of Donna Royer.

My goal, in any tragedy, is to give our viewers perspective on what lead up to the event, and most importantly to humanize the innocent.

I moved on with door knocks, looking for such perspective from neighbors.   Often they have the best insight on what happened.

Today I found a nice neighbor who was willing to share perspective about Royer’s life with us.  She felt it was important.

It was an excellent perspective about a well respected woman who may have put up a brave façade for the sake of her children.

How human.

Royer feared for her life as she indicated in the restraining order I found.  She was afraid of her ex husband.   For some reason, she didn’t move forward with the restraining order.

There are thousands of other women in the Denver area who may silently identify with Royer.

Her death, while deeply tragic and horrible, brings to light the touchy subject of domestic violence—a subject that victims often don’t want to talk about or acknowledge out of fear of retaliation.

Later in the day, I was approached by a couple of people, including one man who shouted from his car window that our cameras were disrespectful.

Another teenage girl approached our live truck and said there was nothing new to the story and that we should stop covering it and just leave.

Some people on facebook today expressed disgust at the medias’ efforts to cover the story.  Some of these same people posted articles on their own profiles.

Often when I do receive tongue lashings and dirty looks out in the field, I can’t but help feel a little ashamed.

Maybe these people are right.

Maybe I am just some scumbag reporter looking to exploit someone’s death for a quick one-minute report.

But then all of that goes away when I remind myself the story behind a tragedy is more important than my own insecurities and obstacles.

What I’m dealing with is nothing compared to the heavy grief experienced by families who find themselves wrapped up in such horrible events.

While I can’t see the audience behind the lens, I believe someone out there is listening and learning, and thinking.

Maybe there’s another Donna Royer out there who is afraid to get help.

The two girls who lost their parents in all of this can use your support.   A fund has been set up.  Walk into any Wells Fargo and donate to “Donna Royer’s Children.”