This post is going to suck.
Don’t waste your time here.
This post is going to be horrible like cafeteria salad.
I hate salad. Salad sucks. Especially salad with the little cuts of carrots. I also really hate that salad that comes pre-wrapped with saran wrap too.
Screw salad. Next time I see a salad, I’m gonna punch it in the face.
Tonight, I’ve decided to write about the Peyton-Broncos newly announced marriage.
I’m warning you now because I’m not a sports guy.
My sports credibility is just as reliable as a Kardashian wedding vow or that resolution you made a few months ago to start working on your flappy pecs and your tortilla abs.
We Bronco fans are in the audience as we watch Peyton and Elway stand at the altar together and we’re all entitled to say something because this is America.
After all, The Constitution says we have a right to status updates, twitter feeds, blog posts (this sentence may contain some inaccuracies) and taco shells made out of Doritos.
I’ve invested in several tickets at Mile High as a new Denver transplant and I must say the dividends of Tebow memories have paid off well.
I’m going to miss the guy if he’s traded. I’m gonna miss him a lot….bro. Sniff.
[FRATERNITY HUG HERE]
I’m NOT going to miss Tebowing among some of the fans. Cut it out people. Go do the Macarena.
Remember the Macarena? I think I did the Macarena once when I used to buy Oxy acne medication. I also think I confessed about the Macarena in a Catholic confessional.
I’m really going to miss the excitement when Tebow jogs out the field for the first play of the first quarter.
It’s like Christmas morning. You don’t know what the guy is going to do, but something exciting always happens.
Yes, sometimes Tebow made some sloppy plays and it felt like getting socks or an ugly sweater as a gift.
No exchanges or refunds, but at the end of the day when all the wrapping paper is on the floor along with the bud light puke, Tebow made the price of a ticket worth it.
That Steelers game was fantastic. The Steel Curtain turned into my grandmother’s curtains that night. What a game. I remember walking away from the stadium pumped.
As for Peyton, I’m not sure what to think about his arrival in Denver. Behind the scenes, it’s quite clear business is business with the Broncos and they see more capital in a refurbished Peyton.
Sorry for the lame writing here, but Elway is certainly sticking his neck out on this one and if the $95 million dollar contract is correct, I hope to see free neck-brace day at Mile High for the first 3,000 fans if things turn sour.
Whatever happens, this football season is going to be exciting. And whatever happens to Tebow, he deserves another good QB job somewhere.
He’s an exciting player to watch, a decent dude off the field who defied the cocky stereotype of NFL players. That’s respectable.
He made things interesting.
Let’s hope this season doesn’t end up like……….salad.
Good luck Peyton.